Parenting: Little Things That Create Strong bond between Kids and Parents
“The hardest job in the world is being a parent… until your children are adults, you won’t even know whether you’re doing a decent job!
I frequently hear parents say this (it enters my own mind from time to time). Being a parent is challenging, and it’s made even more challenging by the uncertainty of whether you’re doing it “correctly.” You will find a wealth of material if you conduct a search for parenting suggestions. There is so much parenting advice out there that it may be both overwhelming and completely perplexing.
Is it true, then? Is there no way to know till they reach adulthood? That may be somewhat true because the future is constantly uncertain and largely beyond our control. However, we now know that there are things a parent can do to build a deep link with their child and prepare them for success in life, owing to Dr. John Gottman’s decades of relationship and parenting study.
Establish THE BOND
The foundation for your child to lead a happy, fulfilling life is building a strong relationship with them. Children that have strong attachments do better in life. They exhibit greater self-esteem, are more autonomous, perform better in school, and have solid interpersonal relationships. According to Dr. John Gottman’s studies, children who develop emotional intelligence perform better in school, the workplace, their mental health, and their interpersonal connections. So the question is, how can you have a strong relationship with your child while still instilling emotional intelligence in them?
Your capacity to be accessible to them and attentive to their needs holds the key. Despite the fact that at times it may seem overwhelming, you are not required to put all other obligations on hold in order to give them your whole attention. Being accessible and sensitive to them can happen in the frequent, minor incidents that develop over time. This relationship-building strategy is known as “little things often” according to Dr. Gottman. Relationships aren’t developed on the lavish trips you take with your family or the pricey presents you purchase your children for special occasions. Families construct ties over time in modest, dependable, daily moments, one brick at a time. They demonstrate your support for your child.
Practice simple tasks frequently
So, how does your connection with your child reflect “Small Things Often”? Here is a summary of some of the tiny, regular ways you can respond to and be accessible to your child.
Create and participate in brief rituals that promote connection at key times of the day. These are fantastic chances to share a special moment. A simple “Good morning, honey” upon waking up or “Have a great day” while dropping them off at school could suffice. It can take the shape of an embrace, a kiss, or another physical contact. A longer routine at bedtime can include a story, lullaby, or brief conversation before they nod off to sleep. The ritual must be appropriate for both of you. As your child gets older, your rituals will alter, but keeping transition times a point of connection will show your child that you are there for them.
Tell your child to be happy. Parents and other adults who care for youngsters typically tell them what to do and what not to do. Many parents are quick to criticize what their child hasn’t done or has done incorrectly but are less likely to point out the good things that youngster has done. However, it’s important to emphasize the good. In order for your youngster to feel loved, welcomed, and appreciated, positive expressions must really exceed negative ones. Positive comments include things like expressing gratitude for their assistance (even if it was a chore), paying them a compliment, or expressing your pride in them.
Your youngster deserves your love. Affection is necessary regardless of age, albeit the degree of it in your connection with your child may alter over time (the majority of teenagers do not desire affection from their parents, especially in public). Make sure you are embracing, kissing, or even just giving your child a pat on the back. Your child will know you care about them and are there for them if you show them affection.
You should face your child. Try your best to respond positively to your child when they make an effort to connect. When your child requires constant care and you are busy, this chore can seem impossible. Remember, though, that being responsive doesn’t necessitate giving them exactly what they ask for. Saying “Honey, I hear you and I want to play with you too” is all that is necessary. We can play together once I finish doing the wash. When the parent is using their phone or another device, I frequently witness failed bids between parents and children.
Be enquisitive about their society. Get to know your child by asking them about their day and their interests. General queries should be avoided in favor of specific ones. For instance, asking “What was the most enjoyable part of your day?” can elicit a more thorough response than just asking “How was your day?” Asking your children about their day over dinner is a terrific way to engage with them. Be sure to listen carefully and take note of everything they say.
Together, spend some time. It doesn’t need to take much time. A tremendous message that you care about and love your child is sent when you spend even 10 minutes a day doing something they enjoy doing together. It will be more likely to happen if you schedule this special time into your schedule.
Resolve any tense exchanges between the two of you. Thank god, successful parenting does not need perfection. However, when you make a mistake, you must fix it. We all have bad days, forget to place our bids, or act poorly toward our children over little things. We are all human. The repair, nevertheless, is crucial. Resolving a conflict with your child reassures them that you will be there for them always, no matter what. Additionally, it imparts to them useful abilities in taking accountability and mending relationships. When they unavoidably disagree with others in the future, this will aid them.
Parenting is challenging, but by spending regular, small amounts of time with your child, you can develop a relationship that will help them succeed in life.