Relationship: My daughter is too dependent on me

Relationship: My daughter is too dependent on me

IS MY DAUGHTER TOO DEPENDENT ON ME?

My 17 year old daughter has been close to me. She’s struggling with her mental health and is on medicine for anxiety and depression. She was doing better for a while then the pandemic knocked her down. She was dating a boy for a few months, and he broke up with her recently. She’s really been struggling since then. She hasn’t wanted to see anybody other than me.

 

I want to support her however I can, but I worry I could be enabling her not to have other coping mechanisms. I haven’t really seen her happy or expressive with anybody other than me for the past month. My daughter and I have a lot of fun together, but I wish she can have fun with other people too.

We cuddle when she is sad, she asks me to sit with her in her bed or play with her hair until she falls asleep, and I hold her while she cries, but we also do a lot of fun stuff.

We love to dance together. She love to write, so we write together and make songs up, or she will read her writing to me or let me read it. She has access to my car and she always asks me to go with her for drives even though she is allowed to drive herself. I think she feels much understood by me and I’m glad about that, but I don’t want to be the only person she can feel that way with.

She has expressed to me that she feels embarrassed about how close we are. She told me she feels too old to do some of the things she does, and doesn’t want to tell her friends or therapist.

I hope she never feels she is too old to confide in me or have fun with me, but I wish she would talk to other people too, especially about how she feels. She’s completely transparent with me, but very shy and quiet with her counselor.

I feel guilty, to think I could be hurting her in the long run. Is this okay? Or should I just allow her to do this until she is ready to talk to others? I can’t reject her- she’s my baby, even though she isn’t baby-aged anymore. I want to be there for her however I can, but I worry that I could be making her too dependent
on me and only me.

Has anybody experience something like this or has any input?

Updated: August 24, 2021 — 7:12 am

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