Heart Broken: His Response After I asked Him what we were

I’ve finally asked the guy we’ve been seeing for ten months what we were, and now I’m heartbroken.

How do you keep going when you feel like this?
He’s a wonderful guy. I have a lot of feelings for him. We kiss and cuddle and are open to each other. I have been so nervous to bring up the question of us. I asked him if he saw this going into a relationship and he said no. that he wanted to have freedom. I said you can have both, and basically offered an open relationship. But, I don’t think he wants anything more than what we have now, which is so upsetting for me.

I have been crying all night and All day. I could not even sleep next to him last night because I kept getting weepy. I just really wish he wanted more. I do not know what to do now.
I know I have to pull back. That’s almost the worse part. I liked getting little things for him and asking him about his life and stuffs, but I know I should not do that anymore. I’m going to miss him so much, I feel sick.

I was in love with someone who would not just love me back. He was completely upfront that he wouldn’t want to be in a relationship after I asked him. He cared for me; he wanted me in his life. But, he just could not make that commitment. This is the most exhausting and depressing moment of my life. Every day I ask myself “why doesn’t he
want more from me?” ”I thought he loved me?” I hope I will wake up one day and realize I’m better than this? Don’t I deserve someone who loves and appreciate me for who I am?

Seeing each other for ten months, he doesn’t want more? I’m heartbroken.